The Devils, Rangers and Islanders make a three team deal.

The Islanders receive: Ilya Kovalchuk and Henrik Lundqvist.

Rangers receive: Martin Brodeur and John Tavares.

The Devils receive: Sean Avery and Rick Dipietro.

Isles management has issued this statement: “After signing Mr Glass to a 200 year deal, we’re not afraid of having Kovy for 17, or whatever. And let’s face it, if Lundqvist can stay healthy for 3 games in a row, we’re ecstatic!”

Rangers insiders say that the team has coveted Brodeur for a while, and were “excited to finally have a goalie that *everyone* agrees will be in the hall of fame. We were tired of having to argue that Lundqvist was that good.” And for Tavares, one insider thinks this may have been a mistake. “They heard that they could get rid of Avery, but still wanted that entertainment value. When they heard they could get “JT”, they thought they meant Timberlake.”

As for the Devils, management was quoted as saying, “Yeah, we had to get out from under that Kovy contract. Who else would take a contract like that? Besides, this gives us an excuse to play Moose every night. But Rick should be back and healthy by 2015! And Avery? Well, we figure if nothing else, we charge $20 a person to line up and kick him in the balls. In the end, we should come out making money…”